Monday, February 10, 2014

Moving On

If you are anything like me, you read the blogs of other artists. Probably many. Let's say many. Of those you are fortunate to find one that speaks clearly and honestly about their internal struggles and mishaps with their work in the day to day of the studio. Everyone seems to have been divinely inspired, then the paint intuitively jumped from brush to canvas, and you type up an ephemeral synopsis about it. Voila! Mastery. There are several tequnique blogs, I love them, and read them. They are wonderful for what they are. Then there are blogs of inspiration. They too are amazing tools. Still, there are so few career artists blogging the marrow of the experience. Even the mundane. I am on the hunt for such an artist. One open to being that vulnerable and real. I want to hear about the mistakes, all of them. The baaaaad ideas. I have learned it  is where the source of genius resides, or perhaps it is the point of origin .. Something like that. I believe so much more can be taught from the mistakes. In the meantime I will continue making my own, and fumbling along. I am in a space of .. I'm not sure what with my own art. There is a next step I am uncertain of. The last few paintings I have been pleased with, and they are what I intended them to be, and now I am THIs. I am feeling the uncomfortable itch of dissatisfaction. Here is where I get grumpy, insecure, and self questioning. I am going to skip some of it this time and go directly to the source .. I just have to find it first. The next place I want to be. The next something. Something to scratch the dissatisfaction I am feeling with my painting. I can't say I like this space I am in. The pangs of ANY growth, frankly, suck. There is the side of my brain attempting to put it in perspective and convince myself it is an "exciting journey I am about to embark." Ha! Not. When it is time to move forward, it is just time. 
Here is a detail of something I am working on now.

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