Ever have a great idea you talk yourself out of, or you let get away because you aren't certain? Let me relate a current artistic revelation. I had an amazing model come pose for me, around a freak inspiration, stemming from a blip I posted on facebook. You never know how the muse will strike people, you just have to be ready to pounce on her, yes? yes. I have perhaps, oh, six sketches and a painted sketch to inspire me, PLUS, the amazing object, a.k.a muse, that was left for me to absorb! and absorb I have! I haven't been able to think of much else. Over a panini with a friend I relate to her how I have this awesome vision of the first painting I want to start, but I have to work out a few things like, there are two totally different eras I'm trying to tie together in the same piece, how the model will feel about the representation, will anyone "get" it, does that even matter, I haven't worked at this scale ever. All of these little concerns gnawing at the work in my mind, right? It's kinda making me start to doubt myself and this vision I have for the first piece, and then I start to think I should just start with a portrait, right, cause it'll be like a lesson in studying her face, blah, blah, blah, chew sides of finger, yadda, yadda. In the meantime, I'm not moving forward with anything yet, and I'm about to ditch a beautiful gift of vision from the universe, so i can SAFELY paint a portrait that, though lovely, isn't the art that I want to create! Cummon now, we've been here before, haven't we? This is never a good place for me folks, and I even know this, yet, at times, I'm a helpless victim of self. (didn't pink have a song about that?) My panini friend listens to my fret and says, "Why don't you paint it. Don't change it. Paint it the way you've visioned - it'll be a juxtapose." My model, posts on her own page this quote, "Not knowing what may happen does not mean stop moving forward in life." I sometimes want to weep with how gently life handles me. How sweetly she whispers the answers I struggle to find for myself. ha! Isn't that sublime? I just love it. I need to just do the art. For me it's always the starting that is awkward. How many starts have I stopped over time? How many visions have I aborted for inane reasons? How many of us do this? Is this really what Picasso meant when he said, "If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes." No, probably not. Still, in this instance I will pull out my brain and use only my inner eyes.